I feel like I’m drowning
Anonymous said: hello caitlin, i have a question. if you had a moleskin journal or notepad of some sort, what would you write in it? because honestly im tired of having to relive my negative thoughts as i jot them down at the end of the day.. thank you .x
Write about the good things. Write about the small moments when nothing hurts. Make lists. Make reminders. If you are going to remember anything, remember the reasons to stay. Write a beautiful thing in it everyday. Keep it close and jot down anything that makes you feel like flying. When the journal is all filled up, it will glow and radiate. You will never be afraid to look through it. It will be a privilege to remember.
i feel like screaming.
where in the hell is the do over button. =//////
fuck this feeling & having no one to vent to
— Kay Redfield Jamison (on Bipolar Disorder)
after my second manic episode it’s been a long journey to get back to a place where i feel i can express myself clearly. in one sense i’ve been too angry with myself to speak up. it’s a silly thing too. why be angry with yourself over a condition that you have no control over? bipolar disorder damn sure wasn’t my choice, but it is something i have to live with and come to terms with before i can move on with my life. I can’t be the only one who’s felt like there’s something they could have done to prevent the train wreck that is a mood disorder. the truth of the matter is, you cant, none of us can. i hope in the coming months i’ll be able to better articulate what i went through and how i’ve grown, maybe it’ll help someone else struggling just like me…